


Never to belong

by Yusagi



Series: End of the Dream [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Angst, Dark, Disappointment, Female Main Character (Mystic Messenger), Gen, MC who doesn't fit in, yoosung and mc vaguely referenced, yoosung bad relationship end 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25031725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yusagi/pseuds/Yusagi
Summary: It's just like every other time.
Series: End of the Dream [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566346
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Never to belong

"It happened again, didn't it?"

It wasn't a sudden realization, not really. It was a slow realization she'd been leading up to all this time.

At first, joining the chatroom had made her feel like she belonged and had found important friends, no matter how awkward and strange it was that she'd ended up in the situation. A few days into it all, though, Yoosung had declared that he'd been wrongly superimposing Rika over her, confusing those feelings for romantic ones. Things had gotten awkward with everyone after that, but she'd muscled through and done her best to help organize the party anyway. It hadn't been a very good party, but no one had expected her first attempt to go that well anyway.

After the party, she'd been able to go back to her own place. That's when the trouble really began. Not immediately, but over time. She never quite fit in with the RFA. Aside from Yoosung, they were all from walks of life more affluent than her. She liked cats, but only in passing. She didn't really care about musicals. She liked games, but not LOLOL. She had strong opinions, though, when she had them. And she had a pretty stressful life outside of the RFA. A few times, she'd let loose in the chatroom. More often than not she ended up joining in on the bickering that went around one way or another.

V had vanished after that first party, but Jumin had made the effort to pull another one together the next year, and she'd done better with more time and experience.

Some time after that party, 707 had called her up scolding her. He hadn't said it explicitly, but she knew what it meant anyway. 'The RFA is pretty democratic' 'you know, people don't really want to be dragged down and feel bad in the chat~!' she'd heard that kind of thing enough times from other groups. _Don't be so negative, don't upset or irritate the others in the group. People don't like you, and you're wearing out your welcome._

She'd pulled back from the chatroom then, limiting herself to polite conversation, agreeing with easy things to say, keeping her own concerns and opinions on things to herself. It was better just pretending to be someone else and hiding herself from others than having no one to talk to, after all. And it turned out alright. It worked pretty well, and the snarky comments made toward her by the others was replaced by pleasant chatter. As much as it was a disappointment that she had to put on a mask, it was still nice to have a group of people who all cared about her because she was a part of their group, no matter how different they all were. 

It was a mistake to get too comfortable with that. She hadn't even really noticed when she opened up again and started to slip out of the mask, not until she found herself in an argument with Yoosung over a movie that spanned on almost an hour. It wasn't some epic blow up, nothing dramatic. In the end, maybe that made it worse.

The next day when she'd woken up, the app had vanished from her phone. It was only for a little bit, and despite the ice cold chill she felt at seeing it suddenly gone, it came back in an hour or so. 707 casually claimed it was a mistake that happened from when he was updating the security on the app to avoid future hacker attempts...but no one else reported that glitch. The message was pretty clear to her. He could and would remove the app from her phone and eject her from the RFA if he wanted to.

She stopped talking at all at that point. The next year, Jumin, Jaehee and Zen were too busy to try to organize a party at all. She stopped logging into the chat at all some time after that. No one called, no one came around to make sure she was alright.

Probably, they'd forgotten about her, and probably they did it on purpose.

Every day she held her breath and checked her phone to see the app was still there. She never logged into the app. If she did, she was afraid they'd remember she was there, remember she could see their private thoughts, and remove her. It was stupid and pointless to stay part of it when she wasn't even looking at it, anymore. A couple of times she hovered over the trash with the app, almost brave enough to delete it.

But...there was still a part of her...that felt nostalgia for the fun and camaraderie she'd had in the beginning. Like that could ever come back, and she could log in and restart. Like if she waited long enough, they'd miss her and overlook the things that made them angry. But if they missed her, then why wouldn't anyone call? They all had her number, and they used to call almost every day. The answer was simple. They didn't.

She'd known it for a while. It wasn't a sudden realization, but a slow one.

Even so, her fingers curled in her hair as she hunched over her desk, phone set aside, glowing with the notifications from the chatroom. "It happens every time."

Everyone got tired of her.

She never belonged anywhere.

No one really liked her. Not if she were _really her_ , not if she wasn't pretending to be someone else.

No one called.

No one knocked on the door to conveniently prove her wrong.

Because she wasn't _Rika_. She was never really meant to be a part of the RFA. She was just some unlikable girl that didn't belong anywhere, or with anyone. Someone meant to be alone.

And crying about it wouldn't change a thing.

**Author's Note:**

> I picked Yoosung because his is an easy route to get to with a bad relationship end that doesn't result in Unknown ambushing you. Many BREs just result in that, forcing the MC to romance a character or die, but obviously that wouldn't have worked with the concept. Similar to the previous fic with the unattractive MC, the MC always gets along with the RFA and fits right in because she's got multiple choice answers, but what if the random girl found by Unknown just didn't quite fit in, and 'not Rika' just couldn't be surmounted?


End file.
